The only interesting thing that had happen today, or is happing right now, is that I was being introduced to another member of Captainís group. Sadly I didnít make a good first impression.
I was hiding behind Snippy who was talking to a man in a furry hooded brown coat and amber color goggles. The man was very angry at me right now.
I was a little (very) cautious about this new guy. Well turns out he wasnít really new to the group at all. The Captain had sent this person off somewhere to find a clock radio and during that time, Snippy had found me and drag me to the Captain to be in his amazing army. Snippy said he didnít feel like telling me about this manís existents because he thought he was dead.
The man is called ďEngieĒ. That sounds like a girlís name but Snippy said he was a boy. Funny, but when I look at him something in me shouts ďgirlĒ. Snippy and Engie were arguing. I look at them and wonder what kind of history these two had together. Were they war buddies? Maybe BFFs in school, or co-workers, maybe they were lovers? A shiver went down my spine. Okay not sure why I thought about that. I look at both of them. They didnít seem to like each other at all. Maybe it was more of a love hate relationship kind of thing? Well it didnít matter because I feel I should end this argument right now. I donít want to be here forever waiting for them to stop fighting. So I poke my head out from behind Snippy.
Jester: Hey guys can you both calm down? Itís over and in the past. Canít we just forgive and forget? And have a good laugh? HaÖha?
Engie: I am not forgiving someone who almost killed me with a pencil!
Jester: Hey itís not my fault! I thought you were one of those other hostile waste-Landers who do nothing but kill anything that moves. Can you really blame me for attacking you?
Engie: I wasnít even looking at you! D:<
Snippy rub his head. He looks like he didnít want to be dealing with this right now.
Sniper: Its getting dark so can we just drop this? We need to go meet up with the others.
Engie: No Charles I will NOT DROP THIS!! I donít deserve to be stab to death with a lead pencil!
Sniper: Oh really? I beg to differ!
Both of them were closing in but I step in between them my hands stretch outward on their chests pushing them apart.
Jester: STOP IT!! Can we please go home? My feet hurt and you two fighting out here is making it worse!
Engie: Oh, so it is all about you isnít it?
Jester: Okay Engie boy listen here, all I can really do is say that I am sorry about the pencil stabbing. What do you want from me? Turn back time? To give you something in return? Stop being a spoil brat! Donít expect anything more from me expect my one and only single apology!
Engie stare at me. Well I assumed he was I couldnít tell from his bright amber color goggles. He lowers his shoulders and push past me, angry. I *sigh* and look at Snippy.
Snippy shake his head.
Stupid Gromov and I were walking in the direction towards our hideout with Jester in between us. He really wants to go back to the base so he wasted no time in making sure we donít fight. I look at him who was both walking and drawing at the same time. I couldnít see what he was drawing because Jesterís face was close to the page, focusing on the drawing. I glare at him.
Sniper: For the last time Jester, draw when youíre somewhere safe! You could trip or get attack by something.
Jester: UmÖ yeah Iíll feed Photoshop later Snippy...
Clearing he wasnít paying attention to what I just said.
Sniper: Jester! Come on! Pay attention! D:<
Jester: Huh? Did you say something?
Engie: I didnít realize you are his baby sitter, Charles.
Jester and I look at Engie who was chuckling. I groan angrily but Jester said in a warning tone at me and waves his finger at me.
Jester: Snippy. Not now.
Jester walks ahead of us, focusing on the drawing once more and ignoring my glare. I look back at Alex who gave me a curious look but said nothing and continue walking. For awhile we didnít say anything. I like it. For once it is quiet, for once I could hear my own thoughts without someone trying to-
Engie: When did he join the group?
Dam it. Sniper: I found him and brought him to the Captain.
Engie: Did you get stab by his pencil too?
Sniper: No, he ran from me.
Engie: Pfft. Figures.
Silent was once more in the air. I pray to heavens above that it stays this way till we reach-
Engie: He seems pretty small. How old is he?
DAM IT ALEX WHY CANíT YOU SHUT UP?! DX<
Sniper: I donít know. I never ask.
Engie: How is he like?
I open my mouth but I couldnít pick the right words. Jester seems saneÖ enough. He can hold a normal conversation, read, and can follow simple instructions. But there are times when he is eccentric, even exaggerate, in both his actions and words during any situation. He is addict to drawing. ALL THE TIME. He is always daydreaming, also not to mention he is completely stubborn, determined and has a violent temper when someone picks on him, touches his scarf or takes his paper, or pen. I donít want to imagine what heíll do if someone were to take his sketchbook away from him, which seems to be the only object that Jester holds dear to him in this world. Beside his scarf I mean.
A glove hand wave across my face.
Engie: Earth to Charles. Are you listening to me?
I push his hand away.
Sniper: Jester is... okay. Just donít touch his stuff and donít sneak up on him. He freaks out. Also never push him to do something. He is very stubborn and can do stupid things to prove a point.
Alex look at me with a hint of curiosity.
Engie: You gotten quite close to this boy havenít you, Charles?
Sniper: What do you mean by that? /:[
Engie: Well itís not like you to hold a nice friendly conversation with me or the others. What makes him different?
I look at Jester who was up ahead and looking in a broken fridge, sticking his head in and his legs swinging outside.
Sniper: Well, we didnít start off great but he is nice to me. He seems to care about me. IÖnever really had that before in my life.
Engie: I didnít realize you like him THAT much.
I glare at him and I was grateful that my mask hid my checks that are most likely red.
Engie: Well clearly he means something to you. He is probably very important to your small sad life.
Sniper: Whatís wrong with you?! HEíS A GUY!
Jester: OW! >o<
We both look at Jester who had trip over a lamp post.
Jester: Okay who is the jerk who put that there?
Engie laughed. I just groan angrily.
Sniper: JESTER! PUT THAT SKETCHBOOK AWAY!! YOUíRE GOING TO GET HURT! D:<
Jester: Hey! What are you, Captain?
Sniper: JUST DO IT!! D:<
Jester froze holding his sketchbook close to his chest.
Jester: Okay whatever, I didnít mean to get you mad.
Sniper: What?! Listen I-
Jester: No I understand Snippy. You are just going what we agree on from the pinky trust treaty. You are just looking out for me. And I thank you.
Jester walk ahead and I look at Engie who cross his arms at me
Sniper: What? We just made a deal! Nothing more!
I continued walking. Engie follow behind me.
Engie: Right. I believe you and Jester are just FRIENDS.
Sniper: Youíre disgusting do you know that? Having a relationship with a stupid computer in the past and now having gay thoughts.
Engie: Hey! Donít bring Annie into in this!
Sniper: You started it!
Engie: Such a child.
Engie: Well what if he is a girl? Unless you think he is a boy.
Sniper: What?! Of course he is a boy!
Engie: Can you prove it?
Sniper: He is clearly a boy by the way he talks and acts.
Engie: But that is not enough, have you ever seen his face?
I froze. HowÖ couldÖ I have never realized. As of this moment I had never seen his face since he join our group. Even when they sleep or eat, Jester never had removed his gas mask or goggles. Jester was always claiming he was busying drawing or doing something else. In other words, he is just like Captain.
Engie: I believe that answer my question.
I glare angrily at him and poke his chest.
Sniper: Hey I never saw Captainís face also, so this doesnít matter!
Engie: Okay then, Jester is a boy who you may or may not have feelings for. But wait what are his feelings for you? Maybe he secretly likes you Charles.
Engie laugh. My anger was rising but I brush it aside and walk off. Donít blow up Snippy; donít let him know you are bothered by this; he is just messing with you. Just ignore him for the rest of the day. Then I hear a humming noise coming from Engie.
Engie: Jester and Charles sitting in a tree, K I S S I N-
Sniper: FINE! YOU WANT TO PLAY IT THAT WAY?! IíLL PROVE TO YOU THAT JESTER IS A BOY!
Engie: interesting. Want to bet?
Engie: The man who proves Jester is a boy or girl and gets evidence wins.
Sniper: Wins what?
Engie: The prize is bragging rights and doing Captainís missions for a day.
I thought about this. Did his set this whole argument up? Just so he can find a way out of Captainís crazy demands? Maybe he already knows Jesterís gender. But then again I really need a break from Captain.
Sniper: Iíll play the game on two conditions. We have to find out WITHOUT asking Jester and the loser will do all the of the winnerís missions for a week.
That should be enough to calm my nerves from Captain and Pilot.
Engie: Agree. It would be fun when to see you lose Charles.
Jester: LAND HOE!!!
SNIPPY!! I SEE LAND!!
Alex and I look towards Jester who was jumping on top of rubble and waving his arms around.
Jester: I SEE THE BASE!!
Jester ran off and by the time me and Alex caught up with Jester he was already telling Pilot and Captain about Engie.
Captain: Ah Engie! Have you found me a radio?
Engie: Yes, but I need to fix it. Why do you need it?
Pilot: So Captain can spread his glorious voice to the citizens of Captaina!
I groan. Jester looked concerned.
Jester: Should you really be talking to strangers? What if Captain say something that offends others? And if they are so offended they may become angry. And if they are angry they will come and find us. AND IF THEY FIND US THEY WILL KILL US OUT OF PURE RAGE AND HATERD!! AND WHEN THEY KILL US THEY WOULD EAT OUR BONES AND PUT OUT HEADS ON STICKS!!! D:
Jester said dramatically waving his arms and hands everywhere.
Captain: Ah do not get your panties in zee twist Ms. Jester.
Captain patted Jesterís head. Captain: If any danger shall come, they shall see zee sexy power of Captain which will blast them to zee moon!
Jester: UmÖokayÖ? :/
With that, Captain walk off with Pilot following behind. Jester shrugs and walks inside the run down building leaving Engie and me alone. Engie gave me a look.
Sniper: What? Captain is crazy. Nothing he says makes sense, so that doesnít prove Jester is a girl.
Engie: Fine but I will win this game Charles and when I do I get to relaxed and watch you met death from Captainís missions.
Engie walks away, laughing. I gritted my teeth at him. I knew he had a reason for doing playing this stupid game.
Sniper: Just you wait Gromver. Iíll prove Jester is a boy.
Everything was normal during dinner time. Kind ofÖ
Todayís dinner was rats. Again. I remember puking a lot when I first ate them but I had gotten use to them. Taste like chicken. But I am tired of eating the same thing over and over again. Iím better off not eating. But for one person to live ones has to eat. *Sigh* Iíll eat later. I am trying to finish this drawing I started the other day. But it was hard to concentrate with Snippy and Engie watching my every move.
I got a feeling Snippy and sissy boy, I mean, Engie, were up to something. I didnít ask Snippy about it. I didnít really care, but whatever they talk about during our walk back to the base, Snippy and Engie were acting weird. Maybe I should ask Captain if I can go out to the wasteland and try to find a book for this type of situation, but I donít want him to give me any more missions I am tired from the last mission of looking for headphones. Maybe Snippy and Engie were BFFS in the past, maybe even past lovers. But lovers donít stare at another person at the dinner table. And by ďdinner tableĒ I mean campfire. And by ďanother personĒ I mean me.
Captain: Such a delicious catch today Pilot! We shall eat like
Pilot squeaks like a little fan girl and hops a little. Pilot: THANK YOU CAPTIAN!!
Sniper and Engie didnít say anything. They chew their rats and kept looking at me. I pretend not to notice but it is getting annoying. I should do something.
Jester:*cough* soÖhow was your day Snippy?
Pilot: You should know, you were with him you small slug.
My eye twitch.
Jester: I wasnít aware your name was
Pilot: EW! I donít want my name to be like Snippy! EW! DX
Pilot started wiping his tongue in disgust.
Jester: Then donít speak when no one is calling you! So how about you Pilot? How was YOUR day?
Pilot: FANTASTIC!! I play with Photoshop, I build a fort, I play airplane, I swam in the ocean, I built a trap, I wrote a song for Captain, I made another fort for Captain, I got trap by my trap, I threw rocks at Snippy, I ran to the-blah blah blah blah blah-
Oh boy this is going to take awhileÖ
Engie: You know JesterÖ
I look at Engie and Pilot just continued talking on and on while waving his rat above his head.
Engie: You should eat something. An empty stomach is not healthy for you.
I raise an eyebrow. Jester: Okay, I will just let me finish this drawing first.
Sniper: You can work on that later, eat something first.
I look at them both. Since when they are so concern about whatever I eat? Well Snippy, I understand but I only met Engie today and I am pretty sure he hates me.
Jester: Well what about Captain?
Everyone looks at Captain. He was sitting on a beach chair, drinking his tea with a straw and staring at something behind Snippy. Or at Snippy, I am not sure.
Sniper: He can eat whenever he wants to too. I just want to make sure YOU eat.
Sniper and Engie continued to stare at me. I donít like this.
Pilot: Are we playing a Seeing Eye contest? I WANNA PLAY!!
Now the three of them were staring at me, making me more uncomfortable than ever before.
Jester: You know what? I am tired. And because you guys are freaking me out; I am going to bed so good night everyone.
I left quickly and ran into the rundown house. Iíll eat when they are not staring at me anymore. Whatís up with them?
Engie: Great, you scare her off.
Sniper: What makes you think ďheĒ is a ďsheĒ? Plus youíre the one who kept staring at him all creepy.
Pilot: What are you two slugs arguing about?
I shut my mouth but Engie didnít.
Engie: Me and Charles made a bet to see who would be the first one to discover Jesterís gender.
Pilot: Who is Charles? And who is Gender? Jester has a pet? HOW DARE HIM!! He may hurt Photoshop feelings! D:
Sniper: Jester doesnít have a pet! We are just trying to figure out if Jester is a girl or a boy.
I threw my hands in the air. Sniper: Out of boredom! I donít know!
How did this happen again? Oh right, Engie saying I have feelings for Jester and I got mad saying itís not that way, and betting and getting out from doing Captainís stupid missions, etc, etc.
Pilot: Can I play?
Engie & Sniper: No.
We all look up and saw Captain standing before us with the fire blazing right in front of him making him look very menace and scary.
Captain: I have a mission for zee three of you! I want you three to find Gender! It will be handy for me to have!
Captain: Jester must let Gender run free and be wild! Jester is hiding Gender from me! Zee Glorious Captain! THAT ES NOT AOLLOW! I want you three to find where Jester is hiding Gender and bring it to me tomorrow so I can feed it beans!
The Captain then walks away, leaving the three men behind.
Pilot did a salute. Pilot: Aye Aye Captain!
Engie: Did he even know what we are talking about?
Pilot: Do what the Captain says! You shoe! D:<
Writing is hard but some reason fun XD
I hope you enjoy it so far. :] Stay tuned for part two of Gender Games.
Romantically Apocalyptic (c)Alexiuss [link]