If yesterday’s dinner wasn’t weird enough today was weirder.
Snippy, Engie and Pilot were awfully close to me as Captain sent me to my mission, which was looking for toothpaste and a rubber ducky. As I was about to leave, Snippy insist he come with me. Then right after Snippy words, Engie and Pilot both erupted from their seats and ask the same thing. I said I would be fine on my own as long as I have my pencil but they came anyway. I don’t mind company but this is part of the day where I can have some alone time. In other words, no one annoying me to death.
I kick the table over and look around for a ducky in this old rundown family home. I have managed to found a toothpaste but the ducky was nowhere in sight. Snippy, Pilot and Engie watch my every move from me checking on top of broken fridges to bending over to see under the old couch. Under the couch I saw a dark object and try to reach for it but my arms were too short. I grip the edge of the couch and try to lift it. It was heavier then I expect a small old couch to be.
Pilot: Come on you small slug! LIFT THE CAR!!
Jester: I can’t. It’s too heavy. I don’t want to break my back.
Engie gave Snippy a look as if he was saying either a “Well well…” or “Is he serious?” look. Snippy just glare at Engie and went towards me.
Snippy: Let me help you-
Pilot: NO! Captain gave Jester the mission! YOU CAN’T HELP SNIPPY!! Beside we are wasting time! We should be asking Jester about where he is hiding Gender!
We all look at him.
Jester: Who is Gender?
Pilot grabs my scarf and pulls me to him. He was taller than me.
Pilot: Captain said you are hiding Gender from us! HE WANTS IT!! AND I WILL GET IT FOR HIM!!
Jester: Let go! D:<
Pilot: Tell me or else!
Jester: Or else what bug eyes? D:<
Pilot grabs my green bag and tries to tug it off my shoulders. The minute he grab my bag, I felt something in me snap. I punch his stomach; I grab my bag back and yank him down to the floor. He fell flat on his face and I kick him in the shins. I did a “hmp” noise and went upstairs holding my bag close.
Jester went upstairs as Engie bend over to look at Pilot. Pilot wheezes and gasps in pain as he was holding his stomach.
Sniper: Jester is too strong for a girl.
Engie: It is possible for girls to be stronger than boys, but how can he not lift the couch when he could punch the air out of Pilot?
Sniper: I told you, Jester doesn’t like anyone touching his stuff.
Engie: Hmm… If we’re going to find out Jester’s gender we have to make him reveal us the answer without asking him.
Pilot: Cows….are falling…..down…. down…
I found a ducky in the next house and we were all walking back to the base. Pilot had a hard time walking so Snippy was force to help him. I felt guilty and try to apologize but all that Pilot said to me was: “Small shoe….Gender….cows dying.”
I don’t understand the cow part but why did Gender matter to him? Who is Gender? We all walk till we reach a small broken bridge over a dirty river. The bridge look too weak, I look around to find another path way.
Snippy: I don’t think there is another way around.
Engie: Are you crazy? Well fall!
Jester: Only one way to find out.
I walk ahead. I didn’t see Snippy glare at Engie. Engie caught up with me. I threw a rock at the bridge and the bridge creek, but nothing fell out of place. I put my foot on it. Nothing. I went in further.
Sniper: Be careful Jester.
I jump on it hard. A loud groan came but nothing move. I wave my hand at the others.
Jester: It’s safe!
We all cross the bridge and at the end was a small drop to the ground. Engie look at me and gesture his hands at me.
Engie: Ladies first.
Sniper, Pilot and I stood still.
Jester: Well are you going down or what Engie?
Engie: Huh?! D:<
Sniper was trying to hold in his laughter but Pilot just laugh.
Pilot: HA HA! You’re a hat!! XD Ow! My tummy…
Engie stutter and try to explain but I left him there and jump off and landed on the ground. What a weirdo, why is he calling himself a lady?
I couldn’t help it. That was too funny. I haven’t laugh like this in a while. Pilot seem to forgotten his pain as he jump down and calling Engie a hat. Gromver was angry, I could tell.
Sniper: So much for engaging a conversation where Jester will tell us his gender without asking him for it.
Engie: I don’t see you doing anything Charles. ]:<
Pilot: Engie is a hat, Engie is a hat.
Engie: *groan* I am never going to hear the end of this…
The day was almost over and we just made it to the base. Finally, maybe the others could leave me alone for awhile. Sadly, they didn’t.
Pilot kept talking about Gender and why Captain needed it. Engie was arguing with me that he wasn’t a girl also about whatever I can or cannot carry things and Snippy just stand there watching me sit in my ripped up sofa chair as they talk random nonsense. It is so hard to draw with so many people around me. I need to get out of here.
Jester: Guys I have to go to the bathroom, so excuse me.
Engie: Do you need company?
Jester: WHAT? Why? D:/
Pilot: Ew! Engie wants to look at the small shoe naked!!
Engie: WHAT?!? I do not!! D:<
I put my hands in my face, and groan loudly as they argue.
Jester was annoyed and places his hands on his face.
Jester: Guys, shouldn’t you be looking for food or something?
My eyes widen. We spent the whole day watching Jester we forgot to get look for food.
Sniper: Shoot, he is right.
Pilot and Engie both stop talking. Pilot: But we must find Gender!
Engie: And we must…confirm something…about someone.
Jester: Look I am tired and hungry and I don’t think I can handle anymore of you guys.
Everyone look at Jester who was shaking his head everywhere with his hands in his face.
Pilot: But Captain needs his Gender!!!!
He grab Jester’s scarf. Pilot: TELL ME!!! WHERE IS GENDER YOU SMALL SHOE!!
Next thing I knew, Pilot’s face was back to the ground again and Jester left the building out of anger. Engie and I looked at Pilot who was mumbling about pigs now.
Engie: You’re right, Jester does have temper problems.
I rub my temples. Sniper: You know what?! I am tired of this guessing game!
Engie: What are you talking about? Does this mean you give up?
Sniper: No! No one wins!! I just want to know!!
With that, I walk after Jester. I stop in my tracks and I saw Captain with Jester. Captain looks happy. What happen? I caught up with them and saw that Jester gave Captain his ducky and toothpaste.
Captain: Splendid job Ms. Jester! You have surprise me yet again.
Jester: Um…why is that?
Captain: Esn’t et obvious? You are quite small and lady like Ms. Jester. Minions with such status are not meant for thee missions. Zee missions are zee front lines of thes army.
Jester just gave Captain a look. Jester: Getting toothpaste and a ducky is front line?
Captain: Why yes Ms. Jester! You should be honor to have the privileges to do zee amazing missions. Otherwise you be cooking me a delicious meal, cleaning zee base, and polishing my tasty boots!
Jester: Right….that doesn’t matter because I can’t cook and I think it’s pointless to clean this place up. But you do know I am a boy right?
Captain: Of course not, you are a lady! Zee Captain knows all!
Jester: Well I am pretty sure I am a boy.
Captain: You are quit a comedian Ms. Jester. Well I must drink my tea! Farewell Ms. Jester.
Captain took Jester’s hand and kisses it and walks off. I stood there in shock. Jester looks at his kiss hand and wipes it on his pants. He turns and saw me.
Jester: Oh hey Snippy.
Sniper: Are you a boy?
Jester looked shock. Jester: What?
Sniper: Me and Engie made a bet that we could figure out if you’re a boy or girl. Pilot was just… there.
Jester: Wait, wait. Is that why you guys were following me around all day? And watching me at dinner? To find out if I was a boy or girl?
Maybe I shouldn’t have told Jester about this. Too late.
Sniper: Yes. Engie was making fun of you.
Okay I don’t have to tell Jester the REAL reason.
Jester: Engie really hates me doesn’t he?
Sniper: He hates everyone.
Jester’s fingers touch the tip of his mask. Thinking.
Jester: Is it really a big deal?
Sniper: Yes. You seen my face already, why can’t I see yours?
Jester shrugs and said.
Jester: Well if you want to know so badly I’ll let you see.
Jester took off his hood to reveal his black beanie. He grabs his gas mask and I held my breath.
I took off my goggles, gas mask and my beanie. It felt weird not wearing my face gear right now. Snippy stared at me at shock. He took off his goggles to look at me clearly. Wow, Snippy’s eyes has a strong blue color to them.
Jester: It’s not a big deal Snippy. I am just a regular boy.
Sniper: Um….are you sure about that?
Jester: What? Of course I am sure. What makes you say that?
Sniper: Your face looks like…. a girl….
I was confused.
Jester: I think it's possible for boys to look like girls, or girls to look like boys...... either way. But I am telling the truth Snippy. I am 100% male.
Snippy *gulp*. Sniper: …if you say so.
Jester: Cool then. Ah! Feels nice to let the radioactive wind on my face! It’s been too long!
Sniper: … right….
We stood there not saying anything.
Jester: I cannot believe Engie would go that far into figuring out my gender. Going to the bathroom with me. Gross. XD
Sniper didn’t laugh but he nodded his head.
Jester: Though I have to ask. Do you guys have two bumps on your chest? I notice you guys don’t have any.
Sniper gave me shock look. Sniper: Bumps on your chest?
Snippy just stared at me. He look closely at my chest and in a instant he quickly brought his gaze to me looking.... shock.
Sniper: Jester, do you know what a female looks like?
Jester: Of course I do! Clean face, long hair, do house cleaning stuff, wear aprons, complain about everything, weird mood swings, and annoying. Right? I read this from a book long ago.
Sniper just gave me a look.
Sniper: I am a boy. Females have bumps on their chest. You’re a girl.
I look at Snippy with wide eyes.
Jester: ….what? 0.0
Turns out Jester lost so much of his, I mean, her memories, that he, I mean “she” forgotten what gender she is. Jester was indeed shock and angry for some reason. She feel to the ground and kept shouting to the sky about how she didn’t want to be a weak little girl and doing lame missions like polishing Captain’s amazing boots. I wanted to comfort her but I didn’t know what to say. But then she shouted: “Who cares if I am a female! I am ME! I am proud to BE ME!! Do not judge me by my gender but by my skills! I will be the best minion in the whole dam dead mutated world! I WILL PROVE EVERYONE WRONG!!”
And with that, Jester put her gas mask and goggles on and walked off into the base. I ran after her and found her pointing and yelling at Engie and Pilot about she wanted to be treated equally among the team. They were confused. Pilot more scare then confused. I am guessing he didn’t want to get hit again.
Captain was happy to know that Jester’s gender is now….um free. Engie and Pilot didn’t know what to think about the situation of Jester being a girl but Captain said with her skills she would be a worthy minion. At dinner time, Captain ordered Pilot to feed Jester some beans. Pilot obeys and while trying to feed Jester some beans, he was making airplane noises with his spoon.
Pilot: Here comes the airplane! WHOOSH!!
Jester: Stop that Pilot. ]:<
Pilot: Look! A small shoe! ATTACK!!
Pilot then made horrible machine gun noises and pours the beads on Jester’s head. Jester’s left eye twitch as the bean slide down on the side of her face to her jacket coat.
After dinner I was put on night watch but instead of watching the landscape as usual, I was watching Jester. She had fallen asleep with her sketchbook in her hands; she was no longer sleeping with her face gear on. Jester looks different than any of the girls I had ever seen before the fallout. Her hair is strange color and she has a slightly darker skin color then me, Alex and Pilot. All this time I thought she was a boy. I wonder if Engie knew since yesterday. Did Pilot knew? Was he the only one who thought that Jester was a boy?
I look at Captain who was standing outside drinking tea. I never saw his face either. What if he is girl as well? No that’s dumb, he is a boy. He must be. I am too tired to think anymore. This was a weird day.
Engie: So, a girl is in the team now.
Engie: You think she likes me?
Sniper: Don’t you even think about it Gromver. You hated her in the beginning.
Engie: Shut it Charles you were thinking about that also.
I shut my mouth. As much I want to deny it he was right. She may be humanity’s only hope, a chance to repopulate the human race. This changes everything. But should it? Pilot and Captain still treat her the same way since she came into the group. Why can’t I?
Engie: Ah it doesn’t matter; with us living in a dead wasteland all we can think about is whatever or not we will die tomorrow. Besides, I have more important things to focus on. But being a gentleman I will treat her with respect.
I glare at him. Engie smirk at me and went to bed. I went back on duty. But once again I looked at Jester. I just hope he, I mean, SHE doesn’t change at all from today’s experience. I began to hear her mumble in her sleep.
Jester: Take that tin can…. Your dead now… zzzzzzzzz
I guess nothing really change at all. She is still the same when I first drag her here. Expect her attitude. Somehow that had gotten worse then ever before.
Well, Jester is a girl. :] Yay!
I figure because he, I mean, SHE lost some memories I figure she must have forgotten what makes a girl a girl and in the end she just thought she was a boy. How many things did Jester forget about who she is? Heck, she is almost like Pilot. Expect she can speak clearly and doesn't worship Captain. XD
Hope you enjoy this small fan fiction. I am not good at these type of things, but like I said last time. It's enjoyable to write it for some reason.
Romantically Apocalyptic (c)Alexiuss [link]